How to Use It
The here-and-now refers to the immediate events of the therapeutic hour, to what is happening here (in this office, in this relationship, in the in-betweenness–the space between me and you) and now, in this immediate hour.
Does not negate the importance of the patients historical past or events of his or her outside life.
Why use the here-and-now? 1. Importance of interpersonal relationships –
throughout life our surrounding interpersonal environment–peers, friends, teachers, as well as family–has enormous influence over the kind of individual we become. (OUR SELF-IMAGE IS FORMULATED TO A LARGE DEGREE UPON THE REFLECTED APPRAISALS WE PERCEIVE IN THE EYES OF THE IMPORTANT FIGURES IN OUR LIFE)
Why use the here-and-now?
2. Therapy is a social microcosm–means that eventually the interpersonal problems of the patient will manifest themselves in the here-and-now of the therapy relationship. Whatever emotions, attitudes, character traits or behaviors have developed within will manifest itself in the patients relationship with the therapist, i.e., arrogance, fearful, demanding, seductive, judgmental, etc.
Be Authentic and Admit Mistakes According to Yalom, any attempt at covering the error up will only backfire because the client will ultimately sense that you are not being upfront with her/him. Hence, it will have a negative impact on the therapy.
Conversely, admitting to the error is setting a positive role model for the client and an indication that he/she matters to you (an important ingredient of a good therapeutic relationship).
Grow rabbit ears WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
GROW RABBIT EARS LEARN HOW TO FOCUS ON THE HERE-AND-NOW
? How does the client greet you ? How do they sit ? Inspect surroundings ? How the session begins or ends ? Recount their history ? How do they relate to you
ONE MAIN PRINCIPLE: ONE STIMULUS, MANY REACTIONS
RABBIT EARS THINK ABOUT THE FOLLOWING IN A GROUP SESSION
? CRYING ? CONFRONTATION ? LATE ARRIVAL ? NON-RESPONSIVE ? JUDGMENTAL ? DEMANDS ATTENTION
What To Do When Your Client Is Crying
? Contrary to what you do as a friend (attempt to console and help your friend regain control and stop crying), Yalom recommends that a therapist encourage the client to plunge deeper so as to assist the client in exploring their emotions.
? Yalom eloquently suggests asking the client, If your tears had a voice, what would they be saying?
REMEMBER EACH INDIVIDUAL HAS A DIFFERENT INTERNAL WORLD AND THE STIMULUS HAS A DIFFERENT MEANING TO EACH.
WE MUST PAY ATTENTION TO OUR OWN FEELINGS If you develop a deep knowledge of yourself, eliminate the majority of your blind spots, and have a good base of patient experience, you will begin to know how much of the boredom or confusion is yours and how much is evoked by the patient. (NEED A PERSONAL THERAPIST)
FRAME COMMENTS CAREFULLY THERAPISTS MUST PACKAGE THEIR COMMENTS IN WAYS THAT FEEL CARING AND ACCEPTABLE TO PATIENTS.
Videos https://youtu.be/CmpetAwVFVI
Yalom Group Session
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