After reading the Learning Activity titled ‘The Key to Improving Your Writing: Revise and Edit,’ which of the revision and editing strategies in the reading have you used in your own writing? This Learning Activity also mentions pointers for keeping your paper professional and not overly casual under ‘Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words.’ Give a specific example of one of these pointers such as ‘men and women’ instead of ‘boys and girls.’ How does it match the examples that are given? How will these guidelines affect your writing in this program? The Key to Improving Your Writing: Revise and Edit Once you have a received feedback on your draft essay, you will turn to the next step in the writing process: revision and editing. Revising and editing are the two tasks you undertake to significantly improve your essay. As you read this section, think about the importance of developing unity and coherence when revising and editing your writing. First, attend to all of the feedback your tutorial faculty member has offered. If you have questions or need clarification, be sure to content him or her for assistance. A checklist for completing the final assessment for this competency: topic proposal, draft essay, final essay, and reflection This topic will focus on the final essay submission of your final assessment. You may think that a completed first draft means little improvement is needed. However, even experienced writers need to improve their drafts and rely on peers during revising and editing. You may know that athletes miss catches, fumble balls, or overshoot goals. Dancers forget steps, turn too slowly, or miss beats. For both athletes and dancers, the more they practice, the stronger their performance will become. Writing, too, profits from practice and revision. Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention. When you revise, you examine a piece of writing for clarity of ideas. Revising often includes adding, cutting, moving, or changing information in order to make the ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing. In other words, you take a second look at your ideas. When you edit you examine a piece of writing for how the writer expressed his or her ideas. Editing often involves adding or changing words, and fixing any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. Tip How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing? Here are some strategies that writers have developed to look at their first drafts from a fresh perspective. Try them all over the course of this project; then, keep using the ones that work best for you. • Take a break. You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at objectively. • Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism. • Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Why? • Use the resources that your college provides. Locate and explore UMass Global’s Online Writing Center website and ask about the assistance they provide via Adobe Connect appointments or drop-in sessions, essay submission, or simply emailing specific questions. UMass Global’s Online Writing Center Many people cringe when they hear the words critic, critical, and criticism. We tend to think of critics as mean and unfair. Critique in writing, though, is meant to be productive criticism. As a writer and a thinker, you need to learn to be critical of yourself in a positive way and have high expectations for your work. You also need to train your eye and trust your ability to fix what needs fixing. For this, you need to teach yourself where to look. Creating Unity and Coherence Two overlapping circles; one circle says ‘unity’ and the other says ‘coherence’ Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea. However, when writers are rushed, are tired, or cannot find the right words, their writing may become less than they want it to be. Their writing may no longer be clear and concise, and they may be adding information that is not needed to develop the main idea. When a piece of writing has unity, all the ideas in a paragraph and in the entire essay clearly belong and are arranged in an order that makes logical sense. When the writing has coherence, the wording of a piece of work clearly indicates how one idea leads to another within a paragraph and from paragraph to paragraph. In other words, the ideas flow smoothly. Tip Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Listen for the clarity and flow of your ideas. Identify places where you find yourself confused, and write a note to yourself about possible fixes. It may help to print off a copy of your draft and use a pen to mark these changes. Creating Unity Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Even though you might enjoy such detours when you chat with friends, unplanned digressions usually harm a piece of writing. Mariah stayed close to her outline when she drafted the three body paragraphs of her essay she tentatively titled ‘Digital Technology: The Newest and the Best at What Price?’ But a recent shopping trip for an HDTV upset her enough that she digressed from the main topic of her third paragraph and included comments about the sales staff at the electronics store she visited. When she revised her essay, she deleted the off-topic sentences that affected the unity of the paragraph. Read the following paragraph twice, the first time without Mariah’s changes, and the second time with them. A sample draft paper with revisions Tip When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Read it straight through once to locate any problems with unity. Read it straight through a second time to find problems with coherence. You may follow this same practice during many stages of the writing process. Creating Coherence Careful writers use transitions, which are words and phrases that show how the ideas in sentences and paragraphs are related. These words and phrases help the writing flow smoothly. Adding transitions is not the only way to improve coherence, but they are often useful and give a mature feel to your essays. Table 8.1 groups many common transitions according to their purpose. Table 8.1 Common Transitional Words and Phrases Transitions That Show Sequence or Time after before later afterward before long meanwhile as soon as finally next at first first, second, third soon at last in the first place then above across at the bottom at the top behind below beside beyond inside Transitions That Show Position near next to opposite to the left, to the right, to the under where side Transitions That Show a Conclusion indeed hence in conclusion in the final analysis therefore thus Transitions That Continue a Line of Thought consequently furthermore additionally because besides the fact following this idea further in addition in the same way looking further considering…, it is clear that Transitions That Change a Line of Thought moreover but yet however nevertheless on the contrary on the other hand Transitions That Show Importance above all best especially in fact more important most important most worst Transitions That Introduce the Final Thoughts in a Paragraph or Essay finally last in conclusion most of all least of all last of all All-Purpose Transitions to Open Paragraphs or to Connect Ideas Inside Paragraphs admittedly at this point certainly granted it is true generally speaking in general in this situation no doubt no one denies obviously of course to be sure undoubtedly unquestionably Transitions that Introduce Examples for instance for example Transitions That Clarify the Order of Events or Steps first, second, third generally, furthermore, in the first place, also, finally last in the first place, furthermore, in the first place, likewise, finally lastly After Mariah revised for unity, she next examined her paragraph about televisions to check for coherence. She looked for places where she needed to add a transition or perhaps reword the text to make the flow of ideas clear. In the version that follows, she has already deleted the sentences that were off topic. Tip Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the electronic version. They conventionally use a small arrow called a caret (^) to show where to insert an addition or correction. A sample draft paper with revisions Being Clear and Concise Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Other writers unleash a lot of words in order to get out all that they feel they need to say. Do either of these composing styles match your style? Or is your composing style somewhere in between? No matter which description best fits you, the first draft of almost every piece of writing, no matter its author, can be made clearer and more concise. If you have a tendency to write too much, you will need to look for unnecessary words. If you have a tendency to be vague or imprecise in your wording, you will need to find specific words to replace any overly general language. If you aren’t sure what to look for, make an appointment with a tutor in the Online Writing Center. A tutor will help you identify your writing strengths and weaknesses and can serve as an advisor and reviewer when you have questions during the drafting process. Umass Global’s Online Writing Center Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words Unless you are instructed otherwise, college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. Avoid slang and remember to not use texting abbreviations. Avoid language that is overly casual. Write about ‘men and women’ rather than ‘girls and guys’ unless you are trying to create a specific effect. Don’t use profanity unless you are analyzing it. A formal tone calls for formal language. Avoid first and second person. First and second person include personal pronouns such as I, me, mine, we, us, our, you. Unless you are instructed otherwise, remain very formal, especially when writing research essays. Instead, use third person, including: them, their, they, critics, readers, the audience, experts, and so on. Avoid contractions. Use do not in place of don’t, I am in place of I’m, have not in place of haven’t, and so on. Contractions are considered casual speech. Avoid clichés. Overused expressions such as green with envy, face the music, better late than never, and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience. Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. Some examples are allusion/illusion, complement/compliment, council/counsel, concu rrent/consecutive, founder/flounder, assassination/assignation and hi storic/historical. When in doubt, check a dictionary. Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing. Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited. Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing, people, nice, good, bad, interesting, and other vague words. Or, use specific details to make your exact meaning clear. Now, read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence. A sample draft paper with revisions Purchase answer to see full attachment Explanation & Answer: 300 Words Tags: Revision Commutation User generated content is uploaded by users for the purposes of learning and should be used following Studypool’s honor code & terms of service.